REWIRE YOUR BRAIN TO LISTEN

I got back from visiting Bolinas, California, a few weeks ago and was talking about my trip with a friend.

One second after I said, “I just returned from an amazing vacation in Bolinas,” my friend replied, “I’ve been there. It’s a cool place, but I prefer Sausalito because …”

This is what happens when you listen to talk.

You’re thinking about what you want to say instead of paying attention to what the other person is saying.

The problem?

When someone interjects with their own thoughts instead of listening, you feel ignored or undervalued, as if your experiences or opinions don’t matter.

People can feel when you’re listening to talk. Yes, it’s a feeling.

It’s not my friend’s fault.

His brain is on autopilot. He has a thought (Sausalito) and speaks.

He hasn’t trained his mind to listen.

How do you train your mind to pay attention?

Here’s a simple exercise:

The next time you’re at a red light that turns green, pause.

Look to the right.
Then look to the left.
Then go.

Why?

In addition to possibly saving your life from being t-boned, you’re training your brain to respond instead of react.

You’re creating a gap between your thought (green means go) and your response (going).

As you go through this process, attention becomes a muscle that gets stronger.

With practice, you’re able to divorce your action from your thought.

You think, “I want to talk about Sausalito,” but in the gap, you decide to say, “What do you think of Bolinas?”

Get your reps in.

Rewire your brain to listen.